Dear S, It’s not news to you that I’ve been a mess this weekend. I keep trying to put a finger on how I feel, but keep coming up short. Motherhood has stretched me to the outer limits of all the emotions I’ve ever felt, sometimes in both directions at once. This weekend I’ve felt a new breed of exhaustion, I think. It’s the exhaustion that comes from having a week where I haven’t showered alone or eaten with two…
Dear J, As we travel the great circuit of the downstairs area of our home, you lay across my arms. Your feet are draped across my left arm, your head rests on my right arm, and the middle of you sinks down a bit where there isn’t any more of me to catch you. This reminds me of my two older brothers when we would all three sit in the back of our parents’ car. I would sit in the…
Talking to our friends, I told them I didn’t mind having our son sleep in bed with us. “He needs to be close to another human. Besides, he’s really cute.” The husband pointed at me and said, “but you get to go to work in the morning.” This weekend, I was so excited for a day off together. Sleeping in, making coffee, maybe even having sex if our son took a long enough nap. Besides, we were going to go…
Dear Z, Last Saturday, we went on a little road trip to South Carolina to visit a home schooling conference where your dad was speaking. We have been feeling isolated where we currently live, far from family, so we couldn’t pass up the opportunity. I wasn’t sure how it was going to go. Your dad is a busy man, so the hours on the road were likely to outnumber the hours we would have with him. But after pulling into…
Dear Z, Before our son had taken his first deep breath, the doctor returned to the end of your bed and began stitching you back together. Before the nurse handed him to me for the first time, you carried him for nine months, had your skin pierced with countless needles, burst your body open for his entrance into the world. And there I was by your side, body fully intact, meeting my child for the first time, and already miles…