Dear Z,

As we were driving home from Pittsburgh, less than an hour into the trip, another car swerved in front of us and forced me to change lanes to avoid hitting him. What I didn’t see was another car nearby, fit snugly into my blind spot. Not knowing he was there, I ran into him.

Hearing the crunch, I swung our car back to the right and regained our original position. The damaged car switched lanes too, slowed down, and pulled over. I followed and parked our car behind him. The car that cut me off kept driving.

Luckily, Gary was a nice man and we shook hands and exchanged insurance information. He told me that he was driving to see his aunt who had just died. “I was lucky to see her one last time yesterday. She didn’t know who I was, but I held her hand.” I apologized for his loss and for adding one more blow to an already bleak weekend.

We agreed that the accident was caused by another car, but my swerving did the damage and I agreed to pay for the repairs to his car. Barely more than a scratch down the side and a banged up mirror. Our car looked none worse for the momentary encounter.

However, as I got back into the car, I was shaken up and had another eight or more hours of driving ahead of me. I took a minute to compose myself, but your words did the heavy lifting: “This is why we make money. It’s part of being an adult. Honestly, I was recently thinking that we hadn’t had an accident in this car and it was starting to freak me out. I thought it might be a lot worse. What a relief this is all it was.”

After causing an accident while barreling down a major highway, causing needless damage to a stranger’s car and to our own budget, this was not the response I deserved. But this is what you do again and again – you take on my burdens and we carry them together.

Edging back onto the road and picking up speed, I realized that our son had slept through the entire thing. Before long, we were laughing about a friend’s dance moves, applauding our son’s dedication to uninterrupted slumber, and discussing an hour-long podcast about women who are fighting against sexual harassment in their workplace.

This story could have ended so many ways. You would have been completely within your rights to be upset with me or voice doubts about my driving abilities. As my wife, you could easily undercut my courage with a thoughtless statement. But you chose instead to encourage me, tease me, and eventually, ponder with me Gary’s ill-fated weekend, simultaneously sideswiped while driving home to visit his beloved late aunt.

Yours,

S